Fishing, mommyhood, culture, and sexism

Or...Fishing: I'm feeling a bit girly about the whole thing. OR...how to perplex the professionals.

My son decided he wanted his fishing belt loop for Cub Scouts. Even better, the Cub Scout leader said there'd be an opportunity to learn at the end-of-the-year campout. Well...kinda. In the end, we all muddled through and both kids learned to fish with a borrowed rod that was given to my son at the end of the day. *whew*

The bad news, IMHO, is they both loved it. They want to do it again.

Culturally, my family didn't fish. I'm not really sure why. I have a vague recollection of trying to fish in the surf at Westmoreland Beach (okay...there was a bit of a surf, which Westmoreland doesn't really have, so maybe we were somewhere else?) and my sister catching my grandmother's cheek with a hook on a wild cast. That pretty much did in any attempt to have the kids fish. Ever, apparently. And in that memory, I'm fairly sure it was my grandmother doing the 'teaching'. I remember when I was a teenager, my dad went sport fishing in the Outer Banks once...Dad had major seasickness issues. The trip got cut short due to bad weather, and he wasn't upset about it. That's it. Any other familial familiarity with fish comes directly from the seafood department of the local grocery store--we're not even talking a fish-market here. Safeway. Giant. A&P. Not exactly the wild kingdom.

So, I head into this "teach the kids to fish" escapade with a knowledge base of roughly ZERO. Our Fourth of July destination offers fishing at its lake. Okay...we'll try it without the Cub Scout dads to provide the bait (some worms--ick, corn, and some artificial bead things that stank to high heaven and came in neon colors), thread the string, etc. It's the 21st century...moms can do this stuff too.

I recalled I do actually own a fishing rod. When we first got married, a local hardware store was going out of business, and almost as a joke, my husband and I picked up a kid's Snoopy Fishing Rod. Sure enough, some 16 years later, its still in its package in the basement in the closet with the rakes and shovels. Hoping its not a collectors piece that should stay in the original plastic, I open it up, am thrilled to see it has string, and read the back of the package to get the basics of use. First direction: attach float and hook.

Darn.

A trip to Gander Mountain gets sandwiched in between packing the cooler and heading off for the fireworks. I've seen the signs for fishing stuff at Gander Mountain; I'm sure they'll have what I need.

Hm. Gander Mountain is kind of intimidating when you don't know what you're doing. *sigh*

If you've never been to one, approximately 1/4 of the really big store is "fishing stuff". After repeatedly telling the kids not to touch the $250+ fishing poles sticking up everywhere (yes, I know they're cool. And BIG.), I head to the hooks. Multiple sections of the store are devoted to hooks. Rack after rack after rack after bin. Okay, even I know I don't want $9 hooks with fancy flies already on them. And no, the kids can't touch those either, even if they ARE pretty. And no, we don't want the one that looks like it should be featured on an episode of SpongeBob and could probably support the weight of both kids. And no, I'm not paying over $20 for a pack of fishing hooks.

I give up and ask for help with some "basic fishing questions". The first guy I approach apologizes, but he's from a different department and unless I want help with shooting supplies, he's not the one to talk to. This reminds me that my son has issues with loud noises, so while I'm there I also want ear protection for him for the evening fireworks, so ask about that. He's happy to direct me to the right place, but eyes me oddly. Apparently ear protection and fishing is not a usual combination.

Find a more helpful young man who asks what my fishing questions are. I explain I'm trying to teach the kids to fish and need hooks and a bobber-thingy...uh, I mean, float. Floats are no problem--get a bag of them for 99 cents. His first question on hooks--"What are you fishing for?"

Damn. It just sounds so girly to say, "Fish?" so I go with, "Whatever's in the lake." How do I know what's in the water?? About then I realize I'm probably supposed to. *sigh*

He goes for tactful: "Are you looking for something small? Perch? Sunfish?"
My son, of course, helpfully provides, "I want to catch REALLY BIG FISH!"

I try to quietly point out that so far, they haven't actually gotten anything on a hook yet, so I'm looking more for a bait-holder than anything fish-specific.

He directs me to a hook about 5 times bigger than the one that came with the gifted rod, but next to it is a packet of smallish hooks that look useable by a 7 and 9 year old, and are $2.00 for the packet.

My daughter helpfully reminds me we need BAIT. The employee asks what we want. I say "artificial" as my son announces with relish, "worms!" My daughter haughtily replies that "Mommy is scared of worms, so we'll have to get fake ones." Hey! I am NOT scared of worms, I just chose not to chop up little squirmy living things and stick hooks through them. Yuck. The guy tries to sell me a carry-out styrofoam container of live worms. Then he looks into my eyes again and realizes I'm actually serious about not using them. (Forget putting them on the hook--we don't need worms as pets between fishing trips!) He then tries to sell me fake worms. These are bigger than the fish I expected to be catching. Unless we were going for a lasso effect of humane catching, I didn't think these were going to be useful. I request something smaller...perhaps those neon colored smelly bead things? He heads towards a locked case. Hm. NOPE. I'll nip that one in the bud...the scout troop lost innumerable floats, hooks, bait, and nearly two rods during the fishing lesson last month. I'm not messing with anything as bait that looks like it needs to be insured. I claim to be out of time and head for check out. I figure if burgers and corn worked for the scouts, it will work for us.

I was kind of relieved when events at the 4th of July celebration like the long line for the moon bounce prevented us from actually fishing. This gives me more time to figure out things like what kind of knot you need to tie the hook onto the line (HA! I knew I'd think of the right word!!) and better yet, how to get the float attached. I'm still feeling like a girl about the whole thing, but thank heavens for the Web. I'm going to be doing some surfing soon...